How I learned (the hard way) to go from push to pause.

In my late forties, I found myself deeply caught in the grip of the stress cycle. I was running on fumes, addicted to the constant push, believing that the more I did, the more I’d achieve. My drive to "get it done" had become my badge of honor, but it was quietly tearing me apart. I didn’t realize how much this addiction to pushing harder was keeping me in a constant state of chronic stress. On paper, I seemed to have it all together: I ate the right foods, exercised regularly, and practiced yoga. Yet, my health was silently deteriorating.

It began with itchy red welts, which, in months, spread to burning, prickly rashes that swelled my skin from head to toe, landing me in the ER. The rashes were relentless, and their toll on my mental health was devastating. Countless visits to dermatologists brought no relief or answers. Then, in an unexpected twist, I was asked to teach a course on stress management at our local college. Irony, anyone? I began a deep dive into research on stress and trauma, and I made discoveries that rocked me to my core. I began to unravel years of maladaptive coping mechanisms—decades of suppressing emotions—and learned how much my self-worth was tied to my drive for success.

Learning about the stress cycle was a revelation, one that felt like waking up after a trance. It was as if we’d all jumped onto the treadmill of life and forgotten how to step off, how to return to safety. So, I started learning how to truly feel, how to quiet the noise, and how to process the emotions I’d buried for so long. I made space for creativity and play, letting go of perfectionism. I slowed down, using my senses to drink in the awe of nature along the path, rather than rushing toward the peak.

I lived with my autoimmune condition for over two years before I finally turned the corner. The healing didn’t come overnight, but in the steady rhythm of slowing down. I still get flare-ups now and then, when the stress sharpens its claws, but I’ve learned to receive these messages from my body as wisdom.

Most of all, I’ve learned that slowing down and staying consistent with practices that complete the stress cycle isn’t a luxury—it’s essential, a non-negotiable for our well-being. In the graph, I’ve shared the tools that help bring my nervous system back to safety, tools I now weave into my classes, courses, and retreats. This journey of healing has shown me what true self-care looks like, and it’s a privilege to guide others as they find their way back to themselves.